So let’s start the new year with a really challenging topic for those with Fibromyalgia, or any chronic illness. It’s often quoted that ‘unless you get Fibromyalgia, you don’t get Fibromyalgia’, it’s a very complex condition to understand, even for medical professionals. A common observation and frustration by many living with the challenges of this chronic condition is that others don’t understand.
A key in relationships is not only to be understood, but also to understand. When you’re hit by something that affects your cognitive and physical abilities but otherwise look fit and healthy, it’s not only a shock and scary for you, but also those close to you.
While it’s important for others to understand the what, how, when, where and whys of how Fibro is affecting you, it is also important for you to understand how your condition is, and maybe has affected others. For many the symptoms affect us long before diagnosis.
It’s important for those of us living with a condition not to get too caught up in our own world, but also to consider how the way we respond to, and talk about coping with Fibro affects others, while still trying to be the best we can mentally and physically be for family, friends and work colleagues, although with revised boundaries and ability.
Putting ourselves in others’ shoes to understand how our condition, and the impact on us has affected others will hopefully generate conversation and understanding from both sides, although not always. Accepting there may be differences that cannot be overcome is also key, sometimes you have to agree to disagree, but if communication comes without any agenda or ego on your part, just to understand and be understood, that’s all you can do. I find it useful to share what I have learnt about living with Fibro from books, online resources or podcasts.
It’s not always easy hearing what others may have to say. Remember that in any conversation everyone is responding through their own filters, experiences of life, and hopes and dreams. If something triggers you reflect honestly before responding, and acknowledge if there is an element of truth, find some peace within to help your understanding of yourself. Also be bold enough to ask ‘ what can I do, if anything, to make this better?’.
Also remember that for the same reasons others may not be in a place to talk or want to understand. Don’t take it personally, review what you have learnt and how you move forward. If you need to seek out someone or a community that is supportive of your challenges. But remember communication is a always two way street, listening is as important as speaking.
Fibro & Photos 