These three phrases, and a more importantly a better understanding of them, have helped me to come to terms with accepting my Fibromyalgia more than any other information I have obtained since September 2019, and enlightened me a great deal in who I am, who I need to be, and that it’s perfectly OK. The fact I am introverted is not a secret, and I have always been more sensitive, it was just not always seen as a positive trait by others and hence myself. Now these are my starting points to be able to live with Fibro going forward, and hopefully manage my symptoms and live within my new limitations. I will inevitably go into more detail in future posts but for me they are inextricably connected. This post is a short introduction, if it resonates with you I have shared some links at the end.
Images Copyright Dale Rockell Photography
Upon diagnosing Central Sensitivity Syndrome (CSS) a Neurology Consultant had asked (amongst many other things);
- Are you always thinking deeply about things, and needing time to think before responding? Yes
- Were you quiet, referred to as shy as a child? Yes
- Severely affected by the feeling in a room or picking up quickly on others feelings? Yes
- Do you love music? YES!!
- Do you play an instrument? Yes, (I play guitar and sing now, and played recorder and flute in the school orchestras)
- Do you listen to music and hear embellishments that aren’t there, and ideas of how you would rearrange a tune? YES!
- Did you have allergies growing up? Yes, dust and mould allergies (still do) and asthma.
It was concluded that I was born with CSS. My own conclusion is that unknowingly living with CSS all my life probably made me susceptible to developing some further health challenges if I wasn’t aware of it, and I was following paths that were not aligned to what my body and brain needed. I wasn’t aware in any sense that I could, or should embrace it. This led me to what is now scientifically referred to as…
Highly Sensitive People (HSP’s)
This is a term that is growing in its reach from research by Dr Elaine Aron, and for me sums up CSS, and develops the concept into a personal strength and positive contribution to society. In a world and society that is increasingly demanding on our physical and mental resources, HSP’s will quickly be drained and overloaded, and frequently need time out to recharge. HSP’s think deeply about everything, and need time to think before responding. HSP’s will easily pick up a vibe from people and environments, (naturally empathic). For me, my Fibro was a long overdue reaction to what the world and society expects us to be and do, constantly striving to fit in, be better, and do, have and contribute more. However, many HSP’s are often highly functional and do deliver in demanding roles.
Introvert
I am an introvert. I prefer to be quiet in social situations, I’m happy in my own company and love listening to music as my respite from life. However when it comes to talking to an audience or performing music in public, (I play guitar and sing), my extroverted side kicks in, only for the introvert to make me feel sick and overloaded immediately during and afterwards, as I will be functioning on a major adrenaline rush. I then over analyse how I think I did and grateful I made it through, (like many creatives when they put themselves and their art out into the world). This is the same for writing and publishing these posts and having conversations especially on days I feel particularly low on energy, and therefore confidence. (PS: Extroverts can be HSP’s too.)
Researching details of being highly sensitive and introverted has helped me be more at peace with, and accept who I am, and the process of discovery has been, and will continue to be very therapeutic. I can’t and shouldn’t change these, to do so would only invite more pain, fatigue and not be true to who I am. What is needed, and is the subject of much discussion now, is wider acceptance that some of us with heightened sensitivity need to operate differently and cannot, or should not be expected to change who we are to be accepted, instead we have much to offer just as we are.
Resources
If you want to look into these further I recommend starting with the following. Also check out the social media feeds of those listed.
- Dr Elaine Aron, established the phrase highly sensitive people, and is the author of the book by the same name and others. If, like me, Fibro makes reading difficult Dr Aron has been interviewed on many podcast episodes.
- Highly Sensitive Humans Podcast – Jules De Vitto
- Naturally Sensitive Podcast – Jessi Michel Agadoni
- The Quiet And Strong Podcast – David Hall
- Sensitive Refuge is an online community hosted by Jenn Granneman and Andre Solo, authors of the book “Sensitive”.
I hope this post makes sense and is useful to some, it took quite a few drafts to get to what you see now with brain fog and cognitive decline an ever present challenge.
Fibro & Photos 
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